Dead Period: 2 weeks every summer where coaches are not permitted to hold practices, open facilities, or even have contact with their athletes.
While I both understand and even
support this institution, I dread it and count down the days until it’s over.
It exists because many coaches would never allow their athletes a break, would
never allow them to attend a church camp or family vacation, would require kids
to give up so much of what being a kid is. And though I expect my kids to
run 5-6 days a week all summer, I would never require them to be at a practice
5 days a week all summer (some of my runners probably wouldn't believe that statement),
but despite my high standards, I do recognize the importance of a break and
being a kid with no obligations. That being said, while many athletes are
relishing their sleeping-in or lazy time these 2 weeks, and while many coaches
are enjoying no responsibilities or the break from the annoying kids on their
team for these 2 weeks, I (and I suspect others like me) have a different
experience on dead period. For those of us in love with coaching and who are
blessed with teams that operate more like a family than a sports team, the
weeks feel more like this:
Day 1: The Odd Silence.
A whole day where my phone never
buzzes from a kid asking for a workout, reporting a good run(or bad run),
notifying me of a new ailment/injury, or asking about the next practice. A
whole day where I'm not sending out a reminder or checking on a runner. A whole
day where I have no workout to write and no data to analyze. It's on this
first day of dead period that this odd silence is most obvious and that my
usual XC noise is most missed. It's so strange how big the silence feels.
I walk around my house, not sure what to do with myself.
Day 3: I Need My Stress Relief Back.
This turned out to be a day with way
too much stress(personal and professional). Usually running(which I can’t do
right now with a fractured femur) is my main way to relieve stress, but a close
second is the reprieve of coaching a practice. In a practice, all my focus is
on the kids and the task at hand. For 2 hours I'm so involved mentally with the
workout that any thought that would normally be worrisome just doesn't come up.
The unease of having to do or deal with something that I don't want to do or
deal with is on pause, because for those moments, I'm doing what I love and
pouring everything into it. Since I haven't been able to run for 6 months, it's
been coaching that has offered me the most stress relief. All these heavy
things that plague my mind today... They would be so much lighter if I could
have just coached my team this morning.
Day 4: When’s The Last Time I Laughed?
One of my favorite traits of all
human traits is a sharp wit...not superficial humor, but that kind of clever
remark that only the most intelligent and creative among us can contrive. I
married the wittiest man I know. And I'm willing to bet I laugh way more than
the average person. But Mark doesn't get all the credit for that: because year
after year I get a XC team with some of the wittiest teenagers around. Right
now, I actually can't remember a practice where I didn't laugh, and not a
polite or required laugh, but a bona-fied-head-tilted-back
I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that laugh. They continually surprise me with
comments and banter that's refreshing and intelligently hilarious. (Yes they're
teenagers and many times they are inappropriate, and yes I'll admit I sometimes
still can't help but laugh when they are) How many people can say that they are
guaranteed to laugh every day at their job? Not many; I'm quite blessed. And here
on day 4 of dead period, I find myself missing whatever laughs I could be
gleaming joy from right now.
Day 5: Dead Discussions
This morning one of my former
runners asked me for my address because she is sending out wedding invitations.
It was just 5-6 years ago that while on many a run together, she and I were in
deep discussions on the potentiality of her future soul mate, what makes relationships
great, being spiritually ready to meet ‘the one.’ And now those conversations
have come full circle. She is about to marry a wonderful man of God. I'm reminded of how many discussions I have
with my runners over their 4 years with me that have nothing to do with
running. Conversations about relationships, purpose, character, leadership, spiritual
practices, life in general...These are far more important topics than training
and running. These are what actually help direct lives. Today I miss these
conversation opportunities. Dead period is supposed to keep us from
training athletes in the disciplines of our sport for 2 weeks, but an unfortunate
consequence is that, at least for these 2 weeks, it also prevents us from
training humans in the disciplines of life.
Day 6: I Just Want To Run!
After yet another follow-up appointment
and yet another round of X-rays, I’m given the news that my femoral stress fracture
is still stalled in its healing. I’m discouraged, angry, depressed, losing hope. When it comes to dealing with not being able
to run, I've had good days, bad days, and hell days in the last 6 months. Today
I came close to saying ‘f*** it, I’m running anyway, I don’t care anymore.’
Yes, that’s irrational, and yes I would have run on a broke bone; I would have
welcomed the pain for the chance to experience the freedom of moving my legs
fast even if for just a few minutes. Today was a hell day; and though I am
offered consolation from friends and family, I can’t help but desperately want
to be with my running team right now. I
know that it’s some of them who would have true empathy. Some of them actually fathom what this would
feel like. In the last 6 months it has been these teenage runners who have
given me the most encouragement, support, and even accountability. I didn’t walk out the door to run today because
of them, because I have to be their example, and because they wouldn’t want me
to hurt myself more.
Day 8: Mother Hen
I made it through the first week
before going all mother hen in my head.
Despite my commonplace claims of having no maternal instincts, I have to
admit that what mothering inclinations I do have get directed at my
runners. Today is mother hen day, where
I start wondering and worrying: how are they doing? Are they healthy? are they
running? are they hanging out? has anything major happened in their lives? those
that have been on mission trips, how have they grown spiritually? I want to
check in with them sooooo bad.
Day 10: Gratefulness
When my day begins with something
that is in line with my purpose on the earth (teaching/coaching), the day turns
out so much better. It’s true what they
say about walking in your purpose giving you an abundant and happy life. These
are the only 2 weeks out of the year where I have no class to teach or team to
coach any day and so there is a noticeable negative difference in my attitude
and outlook. Today I had to transmutate my emotional states of negativity,
boredom, and meaninglessness. The best
way I know to do that is mindful thankfulness: simply remembering to be grateful
can change a whole paradigm. So this
dead period, I am grateful for the other 50 weeks a year; I am grateful for a
team so awesome, that I miss them this much; I am grateful for captains and leaders
who I trust to take care of the family in my absence; And I am grateful that dead period is almost
over!
Day 12: 2 More Days
It’s almost over, and I know I can
make it. And as I think about Saturday, when we can have a practice, one would
think that a coach like me would be scheming up some killer workout to see who
trained on dead period and who was lazy. (If I had written the post-dead-period
workout on the first day of dead period, that’s what it would have been) But
instead now all I really want is a team run. I just want to reunite with the
family and run(bike in my case) easy and talk and catch up. We can train hard
next week. It has become glaringly obvious that this is what I miss most; not
the challenge of writing innovative workouts, not the pride of seeing them perform
so well. I don’t miss their talent; I
simply miss them, this group of runners that I love like they were my own
children.
