Recently I was added to a facebook page for my graduating class. It was created for us all to discuss ideas
about our upcoming 15 year reunion. What followed was a series of surreal
events:
First, I had friend requests from people from the group who I had no
idea who they were! That wouldn’t be
surprising if I had graduated in a large class, but I graduated in a class of
72 people. I should have remembered all of them. But I found myself racking my brain trying to
picture faces to go with these unfamiliar names. So I did what any normal person would do, I
dug out my yearbook… The first few pages had me asking what the heck were we
wearing?? Before that moment, I would
have told you fashion hasn’t changed that much since 2000. It’s not like we were donning the bright
colors and poofy hair of the 80s or even the grunge look of the early 90s. But it was in no way similar to current
trends; how have I not noticed that over the years? Next came the list of achievements next to
each of our formal pictures. I didn’t remember
doing half that stuff! I certainly didn’t
think I placed in the National French Contest. I hated French. Then there were senior wills and ‘most likely
to’s. I didn’t remember mine but found
it amusing that my peers voted me ‘most likely to marry Mark’ because 4 years
later I did, in fact, marry Mark. And
then there’s the senior survey page. We
voted ‘Baby got Back’ as best song (and considering Nicki Minaj recently
sampled it, I guess it is pretty timeless).
We voted Mia Ham as best athlete(she’s still an inspiration) and Seinfeld
as best TV show (they’re still showing reruns) so all in all I guess we had
decent taste but I don’t recall casting those votes or discussing any of that
with any of my friends. As I made my way
through the senior section of the book it became more and more apparent that I
only remember about 5% of my entire senior year!
Then I skipped over to the cross country and track pages. I didn’t
remember my senior year XC team being so big. And I didn’t remember my track
team being so small. And I had completely
forgotten that we used to train in boxers! (yes, before you could buy running
shorts, we figured out that the most comfortable training attire was rolled up
boys boxer underwear). Shockingly, I didn’t
remember most of the athletes in the pictures either! And that’s when I realized that most of my
memories from these 2 sports (which shaped who I would become) came from my
younger years; I remember the older runners who I looked up to far more vividly
than I remember the younger runners who looked up to me. I dug out a cross country team picture from
my freshman year. I can tell you every runner’s name, what times they ran, what
their personalities were like, and why I looked up to each of them. But in looking at my senior year picture it
was completely different, who were these runners?
My little trip down memory lane taught me 2 valuable lessons: First, in
another 15 years I will be 48 (which isn’t old) and I will not remember most of
what has happened in my life this year. So stressing and worrying about any day
to day responsibilities seems so absurd and ridiculous that I’ve had no choice
but to lighten up and try to enjoy more the few(very few) things I know I will
remember. Secondly, the legacy you carry
has far more to do with the people who inspired you than it does the people you
try to inspire. I still regularly think
about those older runners from freshman year; I still regularly think about my
favorite teachers and coaches. I still try to live up to the standards that
they set. I don’t often think about kids I taught and coached 10 years ago and
I don’t even remember my younger teammates.
But maybe somewhere out in the world there are younger former teammates
and former students and runners who regularly think about me. So I’m
going to keep chasing after those awesome leaders from 20 years ago who still
inspire me; I’m going to keep trying to step into the footprints that they’ve left
on the path, and though I don’t look back to see if there is anyone behind me stepping into my footprints, maybe,
just maybe, there’s a kid whose legacy is to chase after me.
