Inspiration from a Mentor

Those of you who are my friends and family (which I'm pretty sure thats all who reads my blog) know that Mark and I recently became the owners/managers of a gymnastics facility. It is the same gym (though a different name) that was started by one of the most influencial people in my life, the late Don Kirton. One of the coolest things about now owning this gym is getting to restore the legacy and vision that was his. I cannot in a single blog explain the way this man has influenced me and continues to influence me even now. He is the reason I run marathons. He is the reason I coach. So many of my character traits came through him.

One of the things we want to do in our gym is have a place that honors those who came before us. We have been collecting old photos, newspaper articles, etc. from the gym's history. Last night we recieved a true gem! Chrissy, the woman that took over the gym after Don passed away in 1997 had to clean out his office (his messy, disorganized, chaotic office). When she did, she came accross some notecards where he had written quotes. And she has kept them all these years. Last night Mark and I had the unbelievable privilage of reading them, these yellowed cards with his messy handwriting: his favorite quotes. He didn't site any of these quotes. Some I know came from books he read and treasured, some he may have come up with on his own. Anyway I'm sharing a sample of them here. When you read them you will understand somewhat of the legacy we are trying to restore. It's not about the gymnastics; gymnastics is just a great vehicle to teach life. He got that. I hope we do too; I hope we honor him in the way we run this gym.

These are some of the sayings Don treasured:

"Learning is finding out what you allready know. Doing is demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that they know just as well as you."

"Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a fake messiah."

"But if the people understood what silence reveals to them, they would have been as close to God as the flowers of the valleys."

"He learned to listen, to listen with a still heart, with a waiting, open soul, without passion, without desire, without judgement, without opinions."

"Nothing was, Noting will be, everything has reality and presence."

"Kids realize its really a drag to plan for tomorrow their whole life, realizing in really hard terms that tomorrow never comes. You always wake up and it's today. There is no yesterday, tomorrow never seems to come, so what's left is today. Or nothing. There's no reason for anybody not knowing what's real, if they'd only open their head."

"Is it not better to see yourself clearly, then to care about how others see you."

"A great deal of joy of life consists in doing perfectly or at least to the best of one's ability, everything which he/she attempted to do. There is a pride in surveying such work--a work which is rounded, full, exact, complete, in all its parts--which the superficial man, who leaves his work in a slovenly, slipslop, half-finished condition can never know. It is this conscientious completeness which turns work into art. The smallest thing well done, becomes artistic."

"Love descends upon our souls by the will of God and not by the demand or the plea of the individual."

"With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy."

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste; and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surender, be on good terms with all persons."

"The only thing that's real is inside you."

"I enjoy talking with very old men. I consider that they have gone before us along a road which we must all travel in a turn, and it is good that we should ask them of the nature of that road, whether it is rough and difficult, or easy and smooth."

"The probability is that the direction given by education will determine the course of all that follows."

"The just man does not allow the different principles within him to do other work than their own, nor the distinct classes in his soul to interfere with one another; but in the truest sense he sets his house in order, gaining the mastery over himself; and becoming on good terms with himself through discipline, he joins in harmony these different elements. Like 3 terms in a musical scale-lowest and highest and intermediate, and any others that may lie between those-and binding together all these elements, he molds the many within him into one, temperate and harmonious. In this spirit he lives; throughout he considers and calls just and beautiful all conduct which pursue and helps to create this attitude of mind. The knowledge which superintends these actions is for him wisdom."

Thank you, Don. Even now, 18 years after my last gymnastics practice, 15 years after your passing, I am still being coached by you.

God knows running shoes

About 3 months ago Mark and I were riding in the car after church discussing hearing God’s voice. We were talking about asking God the tough questions and expecting Him to actually answer us. Mark talks to God about all kinds of things; and he listens; and God answers. Now I struggle with this concept. I don’t think to ask or I question what I’m hearing from the Spirit: (I can’t get away from thinking: is that just in my head?) So as this conversation got somewhat frustrating for me, Mark said ‘you know you can ask Him anything, ask something.’ And I, wanting to be stubborn, silly, and sarcastic, did not feel like coming up with a big theological question so I said the first thing that popped into my head: ‘ok then why does my back hurt?’ (I had been experiencing some mild yet annoying back pain). I laughed when I asked it, what a silly stupid question to ask the King of the Universe right? (As a runner, I rarely take any pain seriously and I wasn’t really taking this pain seriously) But Mark took that as a perfectly acceptable question to ask God. He tuned his spiritual ears into listening and then he began to laugh. Now don’t think us cooky here, people… he said he heard God say “your back hurts because you run with good posture but you don’t hold good posture everywhere else so those back muscles are weak. You can either correct your posture or get different shoes and the shoes you need are Reeboks and they are pink” Now if you’re wondering why I didn’t immediately question Mark’s sanity, it’s because as soon as I heard the answer it rang true in my spirit and it made perfect sense logically too. And it’s not something Mark would have thought up. I suddenly remembered how my mom always used to get on to me for my slouching. I remembered seeing myself teach on camera one time and noticing my bad posture. But this is something Mark has never noticed or cared about so he wouldn’t have gone to that explanation. And then there’s my whole Adidas loyalty. Ever since 8th grade, I’ve been obsessed with the Adidas brand. I’m not really sure why but I always wanted to wear nothing but Adidas. So I knew I had not done what most marathoners do, which is research and try all kinds of shoes to find what works best for their unique needs. Stupid, I know, considering how many miles I run. But anyway back to the story….so after a bit of wining (‘but I only wear adidas, Mark!’) Mark said ‘well you can either correct years of bad posture or you can just get the shoes that will correct it for you.’ A few days later I found myself on the Reebok website looking for pink running shoes. I found some. But being the stubborn person that I am I wasn’t doing anything yet, I wasn’t ready to give up my identity as an Adidas loyalist. (funny how we identify ourselves by such trivial things as shoe brands) but a few weeks later after a 12 miler in which my back was really bothering me, I found myself walking into the Dicks Sporting Goods to buy a pair of pink Reeboks. The next day I decided to do an easy 1 miler just to break them in (surely they would give me blisters or other problems since I was used to only 1 brand). My easy 1 miler, which felt very easy, actually ended up being my fastest mile of the year: a full minute faster than a normal mile at a decent effort for me. I was shocked at my watch when I got done. Oh and there was no back pain. God didn’t tell me the shoes would make me faster, that was just a bonus! I have since hit a half marathon, 5K and 6 mile P.R. in my new shoes. I have bought the same style in 2 other colors. It has gotten to the point that I wear 1 of my 3 pairs almost everyday because they are so comfortable.

Now this is by no means an endorsement for Reebok nor is it a knock on Adidas. I don’t think these shoes are for everyone, I just think God knows everything, even the intricacies of every running shoe on the market and the intricicacies of my specific body’s needs. I think God can not only answer our big and deep questions but He loves to answer our simple and even silly questions too. Moreover, He’ll answer in that perfect unique-to-you kind of way that He does that lets you know how much He really cares. And now when people ask me why I wear the specific type of shoes I do, rather then give a typical runner’s answer about shoe features foot shapes, and running styles, I simply say: ‘because these are the shoes God told me to get.’

What's in a Name?

Like most people I have several names that I answer to: Julie, Mrs. Crider, Ms Julie, JuJu, Coach, Babe, Little’n… I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how those different names and titles elicit different tones of responses. Physiologically, in your brain neurons associate with other related neurons. So a name you are called will activate all the neurons that you associate to that name like memories of past experiences or even how you view when that title should be used. And those activated neurons actually dictate the position you come from when you respond.

I’m back in school now and so I’m back to being Mrs. Crider for most of my day. When I hear ‘Mrs. Crider,’ I’m immediately put into a tone of authority: in my head, my body language, my voice’s inflection, everything. My response will come from a place that says ‘I know what’s going on’ or ‘I know the answer.’

When I hear ‘Coach’ or ‘Ms Julie,’ which is what my runners and church kids call me, I go into a kind-of mixture of authority and intimacy. Because though I still have authority with those kids, I have a relationship with them too. I know them more deeply and they know me, they’ve seen me at weak points and I’ve shared more of my heart with them. My response carries authority, but it’s going to be within the parameters of a relationship and everything that comes with that.

When I hear ‘Babe,’ ‘JuJu,’ or ‘Little’n,’ it’s straight intimacy. Mark calling me ‘Babe’ lights up more than a usual amount of neurons in my brain: all the memories of every loving moment, every flirtation, even arguments… is now active as I respond. When my sister or niece calls me ‘JuJu’, it likewise fires up certain neurons. I’m coming from a place that says we have history because that’s what she called me as a toddler and now she has passed that on to her own toddler. Sometimes in your life, you make friends with people and it’s like an immediate connection. Recently I have made one of these new friends and one day, out of nowhere, she called my JuJu. And this is when I knew for sure that she was a soul-sister-kind-a friend. Growing up and even into adulthood, sometimes my mom would call me ‘Little’n.’ But she didn’t call my sister that. And it wasn’t because I was smaller than my twin, we were twins. It was because I was the youngest, the baby, even if only by 7 minutes. A lot of twins have identity issues but I always felt like I had a special place when Mom called me that. It revealed her intimacy with me; she had a relationship with me that was separate from her relationship with my twin. When any of these intimate names are directed at me, my immediate tone of response is all love. My response will be out of the relationship we have, not some other motive. The Bible says in heaven we will be given a new name. I cannot even imagine what it will feel like when God calls me by his own special name for me.

So all that being said…wouldn’t it be the same with us addressing God? If we simply call him ‘God,’ we are asking for a response that is all authority. When we call him ‘Creator’ or ‘Redeemer,’ we speak to not only him being our authority but also we recognize that he is involved in our lives. But Jesus tells us to call him ‘Abba’ (‘Daddy’). All the names have their place… but there’s just nothing like the intimate ones… to get ‘Abba’ to respond out of the relationship. I have found that in my prayer life the type of response I get usually matches the way I approached Him. Sometimes you need ‘God’ to intervene for you and bring authoritative justice. But when I call on ‘Abba,’ I get a relational response, an outpouring of love and peace. And those are the best kind of responses.